26 4 / 2012
White Tees & Blue Jeans.: Masaya maging single. Masaya, pero parang may kulang, hindi ba?...
Masaya maging single. Masaya, pero parang may kulang, hindi ba? Masaya, pero alam mo sa sarili mong may hinahanap-hanap ka pa. Masaya, pero alam mong may mas isasaya ka pa sana. Masaya, pero kapag nakikita mo ang iba, hindi mo pa rin mapipigilan ang mainggit sa kanila. Lalo pa kung mismong mga…
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01 4 / 2012
separated
Just over a week ago, I received an sms from my then bf, Marlon, asking me to not talk to him for a while, as this situation is hard for him, then followed by a message that he has been cheating on me for quite sometime now, and that it would be better if we’ll just go on our separate lives. I just got off from a nap, from my graveyard shift, imagine how you’d feel if you were the one to read the message. exact words= PISSED and SHOCKED.
All the while, I believed that our relationship is okay and that we’ll be seeing each other soon, as he’ll be coming in for a short vacation 2 days after my birthday. Obviously, it’s not gonna happen anymore. All the assurance that we could get from each other is there, he kept on saying I love you to me, and I believed him. I just realized that it’s not a guarantee that you will end up together, no matter how smooth sailing the relationship is.
I dunno really how we ended this way. I’m still trying to figure it out.
I am deeply hurt. I’m trying to live a normal life this past few days, pero ang hirap sobra. I’m at work, but I still think about him and how it used to be. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ako makakaramdam ng pain. I can’t eat and sleep the way I used to.
REALIZATIONS:
- Nothing is permanent.
- Leave something for your self.
In between, naisip ko din if I am deserving of this pain. I tend to ask God why it has to happen to me, kung kailan sobra-sobra ang pag-ask ko ng guidance sa Kanya to keep us grounded so that our relationship will last, pero it was put into waste. I hope He’ll give me answers.
Just earlier, I went to St. Claire to pour my heart out. I cried while praying, kasi sobrang sama ng loob ko, sobrang pain. Nasabi ko na nga sa mga close friends ko na sana pinatay na lang ako, so I don’t have to deal with this. Sabi nila, I’ll get over it, sabi ko naman, sana nga.
I prayed na sana hindi mauwi sa hate ang love na meron ako for him.
I prayed na maging maayos na ang lahat.
***
I dunno how to trust someone anymore. I feel so numb and my world is crashing again and again and again.
Lord, Take me now. I am ready.
18 1 / 2012
I was 24000 richer a week ago, now, I only have 20,000 left in my pocket, but I have supplies that will last for more than a month. to work my ass off, so I can add more more money in my savings account! #Godhelpme please
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18 1 / 2012
my boyfriend, during one of our skype moments. he’s coming home soon! :D
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18 1 / 2012
This picture was taken last Jan. 11 @ Bluewave in Macapagal. The guy in yellow is my ex-boyfriend. A lot of things happened before this picture, and I, never even thought that I’ll have a picture with him again. Our break-up is as difficult as what others may have, but as we aged, we just learned to forgive and forget what happened to us.
Who ever says that former lovers can never be friends, yes, it is possible, but it will take time to happen. :)
